Writing a novel has been a very interesting experience.
I've started and stopped novels countless times before, only ever able to finish short stories and poetry. I loved those forms so much, but something in me knew I had to try to start and finish a novel!
You see, I've always been a big "starter," but never much of a finisher. Not until I became a teacher. As a teacher, I was forced to finish what I started! I love my job, and I love how this career choice has helped shape me into a better person. If I never pursued teaching, I'd have missed out on an integral part of who I am now. I probably never would have gotten this far in my novel!
I started out this novel with an outline that looks completely different from where I've ended up, but honestly, it's been an amazing journey so far. I've had days where I had to force myself to write because the motivation just wasn't there, but there have been so many days recently where I was genuinely motivated and excited to write. I cranked out multiple chapters in one night this week!
If nothing ever happens with this story, I think I'll be okay with that. I'll be happy I pushed myself as hard as I did. But oh my goodness, I want to keep going!
I've always loved stories. I love the ones that make me cry and laugh in the same sitting. The ones that make me connect with the characters as if we're in the same room. For so long I've loved stories, and for so long I've wanted to hone my own craft so that I can join the world of storytellers.
Authors talk about it all the time...how sometimes the characters just take over the story and practically write it themselves. I'm at a point in the novel writing process where I can actually feel my characters coming to life. They are blurry reflections of countless individuals that have walked in and out of my life. They are becoming more and more clear with each day I work on this novel. Even if my story shifts and changes ten more times, these characters have become so dear to me. I think about their backstories, and I imagine their futures. I'm loving it.
There are still hard days. But like my amazing husband has taught me, motivation is a dirty lie. If you want to tackle something hard, you have to rely on discipline. I'm leaning into that discipline now. Every time I stayed up grading papers to meet deadlines, or planned lessons for a new week of class... All those difficult nights have made me stronger and more determined when I tackle big projects. I think teenage Bekah would be so proud of how far she's come.
All this to say, I hope that someday someone will be able to laugh and cry with the characters in my stories. I hope that they can bring you comfort, or make you feel less alone. I hope we can go on adventures together one day. That's why I want to document this journey.
One day I'll look back at this post and smile. Either this novel is successful, or it's a failure that I learn from and grow from. I think that's a win-win!
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